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“Other seeds fell along thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked them.”

Matthew 13:7 (ESV)

Pulling weeds is not fun for me, so I procrastinate.

This is what happened to the side of my house when I ignore the weeds:

They grow monstrous and become much, much, harder to deal with. The roots were so thick, I couldn’t pull some of them all the way up. I had to cut them down and then spray their stumps with weed killer.

And all the while, I couldn’t help but compare this tedious task to our lives and hearts as Christians. Pulling weeds is a chore. Whether the weed is a life problem or a behavior problem, if we look the other way, they will grow into BIGGER problems. And the only way to get rid of them for good, is to kill the root.

Here is a list of the life and behavior problems in my life:

• I yell at my kid.
• I disrespect my husband.
• I don’t write when I can.
• I forget important things.
• I have migraines and chronic stress.

This is not a comprehensive list. And Peter tells us in God’s Word to expect problems. To even rejoice in them. Expect the testing of our faith. This is God pulling weeds in our lives. It’s pruning. But I’ll never pull these things without getting to the root:

• I yell because of anger resulting from pride.
• I disrespect my husband because of selfishness.
• I don’t write when I can because of laziness.
• I forget things because…well, I’m unsure—maybe my Bipolar II disorder—but I can fix this with alarms and putting EVERYTHING on my calendar.
• I have migraines for medical reasons and chronic stress because I don’t let go of my problems well and am a control freak who doesn’t trust God.

But as parents, we also need to look for the root of the life and behavior problems of our children. They aren’t mature enough to find and pull their weeds. I’ll pay my AuDHD preteen daughter to pull the shallow vines in our front landscape. She gets to most of the roots, but even then, many stay to grow again. And then she gets paid again, so I guess for her it’s a win-win situation.

Kayla has problems too:

• She lies.
• She gets distracted.
• She seeks sensory impute.
• She doesn’t take “no,” well.
• She whines when she doesn’t get what she wants fast enough.

Here are the roots:

• Doesn’t want to get into trouble or gains something by lying—aka: selfishness
• ADHD
• Autism
• Discontentment
• Impatience (and ADHD/autism)

There’s no pulling the neurodiversity out of her, and I wouldn’t want to. Her ADHD and autism is part of what makes her the awesome kid she is. But these conditions can be treated instead of ignored, whether through special training, therapy or medication. Honestly, ADHD and autism are much easier to deal with than the discontentment, impatience, and dishonesty.

Still, it’s my job to try to find and fix the root. The only weed killer that works is Jesus. Without his power, we can’t confront the roots of our problems and put a stop to them. Some problems may have permanent solutions, but others will just keep creeping up. When this happens, we have to start pulling weeds early, so they don’t grow and choke us or our children. Life is tough. But we can’t ignore the toughness. We have to face it and deal with it.

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Look for the root when pulling weeds out of your life and your children’s lives. If the root is sin, let God pull it out of you, and diligently treat the area to prevent it growing back.

The Bible often compares humans to trees. There’s a whole theme about trees you can learn about here.

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