“Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.”
Ephesians 4:26 (ESV)
Anger can be constructive or destructive. The choice is ours. Emotions aren’t the problem. Choosing to express them with poor behavior is.
I’ve struggled with a temper my whole life. Getting diagnosed with Bipolar II and taking medication helped me a lot. Both extremes—me manic and depressed—included irritability. I can’t use this as an excuse, however.
My grandmother, who raised me like a mom, used to quote this verse to me when I was mad, but she would use the King James Version. For the longest time I thought she kept saying raft, not wrath. My young mind didn’t understand the word wrath. What my anger had to do with a raft was beyond me.
I’ve worked a lot on my anger throughout the years and have found great advice. A book I’d recommend for anyone struggling with anger is The Anger Trap by Dr. Les Carter. Dr. Carter never shames your anger, recognizing that the emotion itself is a useful one. He shows you how to express your anger in a constructive way instead of a destructive way.
As long as the mind is capable of sifting out choices, both positive and negative, you can free yourself from the clutches of anger gone bad.
the anger trap by Dr. Les carter
Anger is allowed. Feelings are always valid. But expression has boundaries. Our complex kids are full of BIG feelings like anger. Meltdowns will happen.
Peace and patience, two fruits of the Spirit, are key is calming our inner beast. Peace dampens the fire in our soul, and patience helps us endure what would otherwise make us explode. We access peace through prayer (Philippians 4:6-7). Patience is fueled by mercy. When we forgive quickly—even before asked—we can let go of the harsh feelings that make us lose our patience.
We can validate their feelings and still teach them how to constructively express them.
Share:
Follow:
Did you like this devotional? Don’t miss the next! Sign up and get an e-mail when a new Wednesday devotional is available.
How do your kids express themselves? What are some stress relievers you use?
